Here is a scenario that is common for those who take on family caregiving. If you are already involved in this, it may sound familiar: You started caregiving with enthusiasm and vitality. You were happy to help and received personal rewards from making a difference in your loved one’s life. As time went on, however, you became exhausted and you now realize that caregiving is taking time away from the important things you used to do. Still, your loved one continues to need your assistance—maybe even more than when you started. Your energy is not as great as your loved one’s apparent needs.

If this has occurred for you, then you may be in, or approaching, Caregiver Burnout.

Symptoms of Caregiver Burnout

Answering the following questions can help you objectively identify if/how you are experiencing caregiver burnout or stress. Knowing this, you can then explore the many options for remedies.

• Have your sleep patterns changed? Do you have trouble falling asleep or staying asleep, or, conversely, are you sleeping much of the day?
• Does your energy feel depleted most of the time (physically or mentally) no matter how much sleep you get?
• Are you more easily irritated or angered than usual?
• Have your eating habits changed? Have you experienced weight gain or loss?
• Do you have headaches, stomachaches, digestive problems, or other physical ailments such as aches or pains?
• Have you lost interest in hobbies or activities that used to bring you pleasure, or social isolation?
• Do you have difficulty focusing, remembering, or making decisions?
• Do you feel hopeless about the future?
• Do you have thoughts of death or suicide?
• Has your sex drive decreased?
• Do you have recurrent episodes of crying?
• Do you have feelings of anxiety, depression, grief, frustration, or guilt?
• Are you misusing or abusing sleeping pills, alcohol, or other drugs?
• Has your personal grooming declined?
• Have you neglected your own health and self-care?
• Do you have a new chronic health condition (an ulcer, high blood pressure)?

Answering “yes” to one or more of these could indicate caregiver stress or burnout. The more affirmative responses, the greater likelihood you are suffering from stress. Everyone experiences some of these symptoms occasionally. But, if you find yourself with these symptoms for more than two weeks, they have gotten intense, or they prevent you from leading a typical life, see a medical professional for support.

It is vitally important that you do not ignore these signs of stress. Significant health consequences could follow from ignoring these signs. The good news is that there is clear and effective treatment for this. Consult a professional counselor or physician to get the proper care for yourself. Remember, you must take care of yourself before you can help take care of others.

Stress Relievers - Caring for the caregiver:

Here are some steps you can take to get yourself back into balance and continue from a more healthy state.

• Remember the positive emotional benefits of caregiving: a sense of purpose, making a difference in someone’s life, feeling useful and valuable. Give yourself credit for what you are doing.
• Keep your eye on the big picture and what is ultimately important.
• Prioritize your to-do list to assure you get the most important items done first, and create a routine.
• Accept your limitations, and those of your loved one.
• Ask for help. Share the load – be willing to accept help from others (professional or friends).
• Research community caregiver resources by looking at: www.AgingPro.com
• Look into respite care, such as: adult day care, hiring a non-medical caregiver from an agency, or short term stays at a nursing home or assisted living facility.
• Make a priority of doing the things you know to do to better take care of yourself.
• Take time to relax, move physically, and have fun.
• Get plenty of rest, take a long, relaxing bath, go to the spa.
• Eat a healthy diet – protein, fruits, vegetables, whole grains, and low fat. Cut down on sugar, flour, and alcohol.
• Find a way to take a break when necessary—and be aware of when it’s necessary.
• Consider taking some time off work.
• Visit your doctor regularly and ask about taking a multi-vitamin or other preventive measures.
• Talk to your doctor about any depressive feelings or physical ailments you are experiencing.
• Seek professional help, such as counseling, if needed.
• Use relaxation techniques, such as meditation, contemplation. Consider prayer if you are so inclined.
• Participate in faith-based support if you have it.
• Avoid isolation. The social support offered by staying connected with family and friends can decrease stress.
• Join a support group, either in your community or online (AgingPro discussion boards are excellent tools).
• Understand your loved one’s health conditions so you know what to expect.
• Educate yourself about the disease or the situation in which you find yourself. Contact disease-specific organizations to get up-to-date accurate information.
• Make an appointment for yourself with a health professional who understands the disease, make a list of questions, and make sure your questions are answered before you leave.
• Consult other professionals or specialists to gain information if needed.
• Accept changes when they come up.
• Set realistic goals—for yourself and your loved one.
• Do financial and legal planning.
• Don’t sweat the small stuff.
• LAUGH – find ways to nurture and promote your sense of humor.

The Family and Medical Leave Act of 1993 requires employers to provide (for eligible employees) up to 12 weeks of unpaid leave during a 12-month period to care for an immediate family member with a serious health condition. To find out more about the program, go to the Department of Labor’s website: http://www.dol.gov/esa/whd/fmla. Some states, including California, have laws that provide for partial pay for some employees during their leave.

Visit www.AgingPro.com. The Complete Eldercare Resource.

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